How to Stop Feeling Like a Loser
I was writing a book that I had entitled, “How to Stop Feeling Like a Loser.” I had intended to release it in December, but decided to release it chapter by chapter here instead.
Let’s start by setting the record straight: I don’t think you’re a loser.
But I do know what it feels like to believe you are.
Consider this the “About Me” section you never asked for.
My hope is that in my story, you’ll find even a thread of relatability—something that reminds you you’re not alone in your own storm.
For as long as I can remember, time management has been one of my strengths. Dedication, perseverance, and planning came naturally. What didn’t come naturally was learning to run my race instead of chasing the goals the world told me to pursue.
When you run after everyone else’s goals, expecting peace, satisfaction, and purpose, you eventually crash into disappointment.
As the saying goes, being yourself never goes out of style.
I understood that in theory growing up, but I didn’t truly know it. And honestly, there are still days I forget.
The result has been seasons of overcommitment, restlessness, and constantly feeling behind. In high school, I was the mascot, Student Government president, Salutatorian, active in more clubs than I could count—and still drowning in the sense that I wasn’t enough.
College wasn’t much different. Six internships in four years, leadership roles in multiple organizations, a Bachelor’s and a Master’s degree in record time—and yet, the gnawing sense of failure persisted.
Adult life didn’t slow down the treadmill either. I ran a small business, worked 60+ hours a week as a District Manager, got married (twice—to the same guy, don’t worry), and still found myself dissatisfied.
Then came the wrecking ball: Motherhood.
Postpartum undid me. It left me stripped of the old identity I had clung to, with no clear sense of who I wanted to become. In my scramble for answers, I searched for models of motherhood I could copy-paste into my life:
The sourdough-baking, homesteading mom
The career-driven, running-on-fumes mom
The entrepreneurial mom, monetizing every idea
The homeschooling mom, turning life into constant lessons
The influencer mom, curating perfection online
If I’m honest, I still want to be all of them. But motherhood exposed the truth: I had lost my identity, and with it, my confidence in my own decisions.
Suddenly, with two wide hazel eyes watching me, I couldn’t hide anymore. I realized the greatest gift I could give my daughter wasn’t performance—it was authenticity. She needed a mom who was truly living in her God-given identity, no longer enslaved to the world’s expectations, but grounded in the Kingdom economy.
This book is my invitation to you.
It’s a series of practical steps to help you move from believing you’re a loser and performing for others to knowing you were uniquely designed for a great purpose. And beyond knowing it, you’ll learn how to steward your time in a way that leads you to your end goal: becoming the truest version of yourself.
